It seems so silly to get anxiety over something that hasn't necessarily happened yet. Yes, I tested positive for HD, but I am asymptomatic. Regardless of that status, every twitch, every depressed thought, every moment of fatigue; I wonder if it's my HD. I realize that's not really how it works, but I can't help myself... I find myself wondering if I'd need my anti-depressants and my anti-anxiety medication if I wasn't positive.
I try to stay abreast of new research and medications in the pipeline. Unfortunately, doing that can cause great anxiety... am I doing my best now? Is there something that I should be doing? In the end, will it matter? I continue to see topics of "great hope for those with HD!" but little fruitful information comes from them.
I wonder if this is how I will die. If I know my fate.
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